Lessons #197 and 198
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+ 1. It is best to use this note after you have listened to the lessons because there are +
+ comments given in the actual delivery not in the note. +
+ 2. The Bible abbreviations are as follows: CEV =Contemporary English version, +
+ CEB = Common English Bible, ESV= English Standard Version, +
+ GW = God’s Word Translation, ISV = International Standard Version, +
+ NAB=New English Bible, NASB= New American Standard Bible, +
+ NEB= New English Bible, NET = New English Translation, +
+ NLT = New Living Translations NJB = New Jerusalem Bible, +
+ NJV = New Jewish Bible, TEV = Today’s English Version. +
+AMP = Amplified Bible, UBS = United Bible Society +
+ 3. Notes have not been edited for grammatical errors. +
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Guidelines for sexual relationship among believers before marriage (1 Cor 7:1-2)
1Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry. 2 But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband
We stated in our last study that the passage of 1 Corinthians 7:1-7 is concerned with two major guidelines concerning sexual relationship among believers applicable before and after marriage. We started to consider the first guideline that applies before marriage that we asserted is simply that there should be no premarital sex or sex outside marriage. This guideline is based on 1 Corinthians 7:1 It is good for a man not to marry that we indicated literally reads good for a man not to touch a woman. Using the literal translation, we also indicated that there are two elements to the first guideline although there is a third one that we will consider later. A first element based on the literal meaning of the Greek word translated “touch” is avoidance of anything that would kindle sexual passion on both man and woman. This includes no holding of hands and no kissing. A second element is that there should be no sexual intercourse between those who are not married to each other. This element is based on the understanding that the Greek word that we considered that literally means “to touch” has the meaning also of to be engaged in sexual intercourse. Thus, as we stated previously, the translators of the 2011 edition of the NIV rendered the sentence as It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman instead of It is good for a man not to marry of the 1984 edition. We ended by saying that getting involved in premarital sex exposes one to God’s discipline that would occur at His own choosing and time. We need to elaborate on this point before we continue with further exposition of the first guideline.
It is our contention that God disciplines individuals involved in premarital sex in His own way and His own time. This kind of assertion may cause problem to some because there is no direct passage that says explicitly that God punishes sin of premarital sex since punishments of sexual sins given in the Scripture were to be carried out by humans. Furthermore, most of the punishment associated with sexual sins involve adultery. Hence, someone may argue that there is no basis for my assertion. You see, people often use the Scripture to justify their sinful conducts by cherry-picking the Bible and so may use, out of context, whatever they want to appeal to justify their conduct. I recall many years ago, that a young lady had said to me that she finds no passage in the Scripture where premarital sex was forbidden that only adultery is clearly stated as sin. This is to me a case of someone wanting to justify self by twisting the Scripture to one’s advantage. That notwithstanding, the Scripture implies that premarital sex is wrong because of the death sentence that is to be associated with a young woman’s loss of her virginity before marriage. This punishment is given in a detailed fashion in Deuteronomy 22:13–21:
13 If a man takes a wife and, after lying with her, dislikes her 14 and slanders her and gives her a bad name, saying, “I married this woman, but when I approached her, I did not find proof of her virginity,” 15 then the girl’s father and mother shall bring proof that she was a virgin to the town elders at the gate. 16 The girl’s father will say to the elders, “I gave my daughter in marriage to this man, but he dislikes her. 17 Now he has slandered her and said, ‘I did not find your daughter to be a virgin.’ But here is the proof of my daughter’s virginity.” Then her parents shall display the cloth before the elders of the town, 18 and the elders shall take the man and punish him. 19 They shall fine him a hundred shekels of silver and give them to the girl’s father, because this man has given an Israelite virgin a bad name. She shall continue to be his wife; he must not divorce her as long as he lives. 20 If, however, the charge is true and no proof of the girl’s virginity can be found, 21 she shall be brought to the door of her father’s house and there the men of her town shall stone her to death. She has done a disgraceful thing in Israel by being promiscuous while still in her father’s house. You must purge the evil from among you.
You should notice that the death sentence here is applied if it is true that the girl was not a virgin when she was married. If that is the case, then it should be clear that the Scripture forbids premarital sex. Anyway, the point we want to stress is that God punishes those involved in premarital sex even in the case of rape under certain conditions. If the rape occurs in such a way that the woman did not contribute to it by not being careless or naïve then only the man involved was to be punished by death as we read in Deuteronomy 22:23–26:
23 If a man happens to meet in a town a virgin pledged to be married and he sleeps with her, 24 you shall take both of them to the gate of that town and stone them to death—the girl because she was in a town and did not scream for help, and the man because he violated another man’s wife. You must purge the evil from among you. 25 But if out in the country a man happens to meet a girl pledged to be married and rapes her, only the man who has done this shall die. 26 Do nothing to the girl; she has committed no sin deserving death. This case is like that of someone who attacks and murders his neighbor,
The examples we have cited involve a girl that is engaged to be married but if the girl who is raped is unmarried then the man guilty of the rape is to be punished by him paying a heavy fine or monetary compensation to the father of the girl and be forced to marry the girl without the possibility of ever divorcing her, as we noted in our last study, that is, Deuteronomy 22:28–29:
28 If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, 29 he shall pay the girl’s father fifty shekels of silver. He must marry the girl, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives.
The same kind of punishment is required even if there was no rape involved in the premarital sex, but seduction or persuasion is involved, as we read in Exodus 22:16–17:
16 “If a man seduces a virgin who is not pledged to be married and sleeps with her, he must pay the bride-price, and she shall be his wife. 17 If her father absolutely refuses to give her to him, he must still pay the bride-price for virgins.
As we have indicated, God would punish people involved in premarital sex in His own way or time at the present time since we are not Israel as to follow the stipulation in the Law. This being the case, we should deduce that God would not allow such individuals to go free. We can see this truth in two examples of rape recorded in the Scripture before the law was given to Israel and after the law was given. Before the law was given Dinah, the daughter of Jacob, was raped by Shechem as stated in Genesis 34:2:
When Shechem son of Hamor the Hivite, the ruler of that area, saw her, he took her and violated her.
Shechem was put to death by Dinah’s brothers, according to Genesis 34:25–26:
25 Three days later, while all of them were still in pain, two of Jacob’s sons, Simeon and Levi, Dinah’s brothers, took their swords and attacked the unsuspecting city, killing every male. 26 They put Hamor and his son Shechem to the sword and took Dinah from Shechem’s house and left.
After the law was given, Amnon raped his half-sister, Tamar, as narrated in 2 Samuel 13:14:
But he refused to listen to her, and since he was stronger than she, he raped her.
Amnon was put to death by Tamar’s brother, Absalom, as recorded in 2 Samuel 13:28–29:
28 Absalom ordered his men, “Listen! When Amnon is in high spirits from drinking wine and I say to you, ‘Strike Amnon down,’ then kill him. Don’t be afraid. Have not I given you this order? Be strong and brave.” 29 So Absalom’s men did to Amnon what Absalom had ordered. Then all the king’s sons got up, mounted their mules and fled.
It is true that in the only two cases of recorded rape in the Scripture that the men involved were killed by the brothers of the victims, but such killing should be interpreted as God’s judgment on the men involved at His own way or timing. The point is that God judges premarital sex or sex outside marriage. Israel’s example of the death of so many people in one day should warn us that God does not tolerate sex outside marriage. I am referring to the fiasco that involved Israelite men who engaged in sexual immorality with Moabite women that was also part of idolatry, as narrated in Numbers 25:1–8:
1While Israel was staying in Shittim, the men began to indulge in sexual immorality with Moabite women, 2 who invited them to the sacrifices to their gods. The people ate and bowed down before these gods. 3 So Israel joined in worshiping the Baal of Peor. And the LORD’s anger burned against them. 4 The LORD said to Moses, “Take all the leaders of these people, kill them and expose them in broad daylight before the LORD, so that the LORD’s fierce anger may turn away from Israel.” 5 So Moses said to Israel’s judges, “Each of you must put to death those of your men who have joined in worshiping the Baal of Peor.” 6 Then an Israelite man brought to his family a Midianite woman right before the eyes of Moses and the whole assembly of Israel while they were weeping at the entrance to the Tent of Meeting. 7 When Phinehas son of Eleazar, the son of Aaron, the priest, saw this, he left the assembly, took a spear in his hand 8 and followed the Israelite into the tent. He drove the spear through both of them—through the Israelite and into the woman’s body. Then the plague against the Israelites was stopped;
This incident should teach us that God does not tolerate sexual immorality as the same incident was referred in the NT by Apostle Paul in warning against sexual sin in 1 Corinthians 10:8:
We should not commit sexual immorality, as some of them did—and in one day twenty-three thousand of them died.
Still in the same NT, we have God’s warning of judgment on the so-called prophetess in the church of Thyatira and her followers, as we read in Revelation 2:21–23:
21 I have given her time to repent of her immorality, but she is unwilling. 22 So I will cast her on a bed of suffering, and I will make those who commit adultery with her suffer intensely, unless they repent of her ways. 23 I will strike her children dead. Then all the churches will know that I am he who searches hearts and minds, and I will repay each of you according to your deeds.
Hence, we get the idea that God does not tolerate sexual sin that includes premarital sex and that many have died because of it although we may not realize it but it is as we may deduce from the instruction given to the young man regarding a loose woman, as we read in Proverbs 7:26–27:
26Many are the victims she has brought down; her slain are a mighty throng. 27Her house is a highway to the grave, leading down to the chambers of death.
With this comment, we proceed in our consideration of the first guideline of sexual relationship among believers before marriage which is that there should be no premarital sex.
The second element of the first guideline that we considered is that there should be no sexual intercourse between those who are not married to each other since avoidance of sex before marriage is the right thing to do because it is pleasing to the Lord as in the literally translation of 1 Corinthians 7:1 good for a man not to touch a woman. This second element is joined to a third element that is not obvious as part of the first guideline because of the conjunction but that begins 1 Corinthians 7:2. The use of the conjunction but implies a contrast between verses 1 and 2. Such interpretation makes sense if verse 1 is interpreted first as a quotation of what the Corinthians said and if we take the declaration to mean that it is good for a man not to marry. Under these assumptions, verse 2 could be taken as the apostle’s response in which he agrees in part to the assertion that it is good not to marry but with a condition that he stipulates in verse 2. This is possible, but we have taken the position that verse 1 was not a quotation but a declaration of the apostle. As we stated, it does not matter how we consider verse 1 since in the final analysis the apostle asserted something that is true if we understand that he was concerned not with being single but with avoidance of premarital sex or sex outside marriage.
Understanding that the apostle in verse 1 was concerned with premarital sex or sex outside marriage enables us to see that the Greek conjunction (de) translated “but” in the NIV and majority of our English versions should be translated “and” to indicate that the apostle is adding an element of the first guideline that if followed would help the unmarried to take steps that would avoid premarital sex. This third element also sets up the ground for the second guideline the apostle gives regarding sexual relationship among married believers. In effect, verse 2 is a bridge between the first and second guideline that we will consider. Or, we could see it as a transitional verse to what follow. Either case, we contend that it is better not to interpret it as providing a contrast but of additional help in the guidelines regarding sexual relationship among believers.
In any case, the Holy Spirit directed the apostle to state a reason for marriage or being in married state that had not previously been stated although it could be implied in one of the reasons given in Genesis for marriage. Before we get to the reason for marriage the Holy Spirit gave through the apostle, let me remind you of three reasons for marriage given in Genesis. A first reason for marriage is for procreation, that is, to ensure that the earth continued to be repopulated by people. It is this reason that is given in Genesis 1:28:
God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”
Satan has been in the business of attacking this reason. Although his first attack of this reason through infiltration of humanity by half human and half angelic beings that occurred in the sixth chapter of Genesis was to thwart God’s plan of a redeemer coming into the world as a true human, but such an attack was also to ensure that there is no increase in the number of true humans on this planet. Today, the attack on this concept is through the so-called same sex marriage which is not a marriage ordained by God. Here is the attack. If same sex marriage becomes rampart and truly accepted, then that would lead to decrease in the population of humans on this planet since no two men or two women could have children. Of course, we hear of individuals in such relationship adopting children. The mere fact that they adopt children should in and of itself tell those involved that they are in a state that is not sanctioned by God since He is the One that instructed the man and the woman He created to be fruitful and multiply. Two same sex persons could not multiply and so such “union” is an affront to God’s plan orchestrated by Satan, the enemy of God. Furthermore, it is not God’s plan for children to be raised by two women or two men. God’s design is for children to be raised by a family consisting of man and woman in marriage relationship. It is this that is implied in Malachi 2:15:
Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth.
Granting that this passage is notoriously difficult to interpret but the phrase godly offspring refers to children from man and woman that had become one. Thus, the true environment for raising a child is that of a man and his wife that gave birth to them or who adopted them. It is true that a man or a woman may be faced with the task of raising a child because of death of a spouse but that is not the norm for raising children. That aside, the first reason God gave for marriage is procreation. A second reason God gave for marriage is companionship Genesis 2:18:
The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
A woman is a helper to a man in a way no man can be to another. There is something unique in God’s creation about the kind of helper a woman is to a man. God created men and women in such a way there is something that distinguishes both although today we want to blur that distinction that God wanted His covenant people to maintain hence the dress code required of them, as recorded in Deuteronomy 22:5:
A woman must not wear men’s clothing, nor a man wear women’s clothing, for the LORD your God detests anyone who does this.
Nonetheless, there is a tenderness that a woman possesses because of the fact she is a helper and one who nurtures a child that no man can duplicate. Thus, marriage provides a unique companionship between a man and a woman that cannot be duplicated by two men or two women. A third reason for marriage is the creation of a unique bond between two human beings of the type that nothing on this planet can duplicate. It is this unique bond that is referenced in Genesis 2:24:
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
The one flesh is evident in sexual relationship not only as seen in children that are the result of the one flesh but in the sense that a man enters a woman’s body in such a way that no two men or two women can. There is something mysterious in sexual relationship between a man and woman that Satan also attacks by the counterfeit substitutes that exist today where two men or two women claim to have sexual relationship between them. The point is that there can be no duplication of the oneness of the flesh both in a spiritual sense and in physical sense by two men or two women. Any attempt of such bonding will fail to meet God’s design in the unique bonding between a man and a woman in marriage relationship. Anyway, we have considered three related reasons for marriage as given in the institution of marriage by God who created the first man and first woman and united them in a unique bond with each other. That notwithstanding, the Holy Spirit through Apostle Paul supplies another reason for marriage that although related to the first three is not God’s original purpose for marriage but a recognition of the fall of mankind that is evident in sinful conduct of humans on this planet.
In any case, the reason the Holy Spirit gave through Apostle Paul is that marriage should help in avoidance of temptation to sexual immorality among believers as in the first clause of 1 Corinthians 7:2 of the NIV But since there is so much immorality. Literally, the Greek may be translated And because of sexual immoralities. The plural used in the Greek of the word translated “sexual immorality” in the NIV that we rendered literally “sexual immoralities” is not to be understood merely as a reference to repeated sexual immorality but the context requires, we understand the plural as referring to some of the sexual immorality the apostle had already stated. This means that the plural “sexual immoralities” refer to incest, prostitution, homosexuality, adultery and premarital sex.
The phrase of the NIV so much in the clause But since there is so much immorality is certainly interpretative but a good one, considering the pervasiveness of sexual immorality present in Corinth. The same widespread sexual immorality in Corinth exists with us today. We have become a society where there is no shame attached to sexual immorality even among Christians. We are not concerned that those who are in authority over us are sexually immoral not only they commit adultery but engage with prostitutes so long as they do other things that we like. We are not particularly disturbed that those who are pastors or spiritual leaders are sexually immoral in that we say to ourselves; they are after all human and give them a pass. We are not concerned about sexual immorality among the young people because we say we do not want to be hypocrites because we did the same thing at their age although at that point we did not know better. So, there is no shame anymore attached to having children outside of wedlock. Everywhere we turn we are bombarded with sex or sexual images. You cannot turn on your television without suggestive and blatant acts of sexual immorality. We in fact glorify those who brazenly are sexually immoral. We know that people live together without being married and we accept it. Parents encourage the children at a very early age to have boyfriends and girlfriends when they know well what that means. Many preachers really do not condemn or teach against sexual immorality with the justification that young people and many others will not come to their local churches if they teach against sexual immorality. Pastors or preachers prefer not to tell people of their sins to save them from the judgment due to sexual immorality in that way they are like the prophets of Israel that refused to tell the people about their sins to keep them from being sent to exile, as we read in Lamentations 2:14:
The visions of your prophets were false and worthless; they did not expose your sin to ward off your captivity. The oracles they gave you were false and misleading.
The point I am making by these references is that what is said of the Corinthians in the clause of 1 Corinthians 7:2 since there is so much immorality is true of our society at this time. This being the case, the third element of the guideline we are considering is one that believers should pay close attention if we are truly serious with glorifying our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
We should be careful to recognize that the third element we are about to consider does not mean to say that if it is followed that a person would not be tempted to sexual sin but only that the reason for the guideline is to help one deal with temptation. For parading of sex or sexual activities in the society puts pressure on those who are single that they may be constantly faced with sexual temptation. The situation such individuals face is probably similar to the lover that begs the daughters of Jerusalem not to arouse love in Song of Solomon 8:4:
Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.
The Scripture is a book of truth and realities. Thus, there is a realization that parading of sexual activities would cause someone to be aroused, so the plea is for the daughters of Jerusalem not to do so. The plea is to say that people, especially those who are married, should be careful in display of sexual passion in public or before those who are single. Anyway, because there is so much sexual immorality in Corinth, as it is today, we have the third element of the first guideline.
The third element is for believers who are single to be in married state, implying to get married. It is this element of the first guideline that is given in the clause of 1 Corinthians 7:2, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. The two clauses used to convey that a man should have his own wife and a woman should have her own husband seemed redundant. In other words, it would have simply been enough to state that each man should have his own wife and by implication to recognize that a woman should have her own husband. So, why did the Holy Spirit direct the apostle to be redundant in his use of the instruction regarding a man having his own wife and a woman having her own husband? Before we answer this question, let me make an observation regarding the verbal phrase should have. To begin with, the word “have” is translated from a Greek word (echō) that means “to have” with several nuances. For example, “to have” may mean “to be in charge” as it is used to describe Judas Iscariot as being in charge of the money of the Lord Jesus and His disciples in John 13:29:
Since Judas had charge of the money, some thought Jesus was telling him to buy what was needed for the Feast, or to give something to the poor.
In our passage of 1 Corinthians 7:2, the word means “to have,” in the sense of having personal or familial relationship with a person. In effect, the word has the sense of “to marry” although some dispute this meaning because there is no clear case of the word being used for marrying. The argument is that when it is used in that sense of marriage it refers to one already in married state since the past tense is used as that is the way the word was used in the question to the Lord Jesus by the Sadducees who rejected resurrection and so came up with a hypothetical situation of a woman who was married to seven men and so wondered whose wife she would be in resurrection, as stated in Matthew 22:28
Now then, at the resurrection, whose wife will she be of the seven, since all of them were married to her?”
The clause since all of them were married to her is literally for all had her. The past tense does not alter the fact that the men in question have married the woman. Thus, it cannot be absolutely stated that the word could not mean “to marry” especially since the Greek uses a command in present tense that is not used anywhere else in the NT in the same way as we have in our passage of 1 Corinthians 7:2. The fact that we have a present tense used with a command in the Greek lends more credibility to understanding the Greek word translated “have” as meaning “to marry.” This aside, the observation about the verbal phrase should have is that the apostle used a present tense in the Greek in issuing the instruction concerning being in a married state in our passage. The implication of this is that the apostle meant that marriage once entered should continue. In effect, before he even begins to teach on the importance of husband and wife staying together regardless of their spiritual status at the time of their salvation, the apostle states that marriage should be an ongoing process. The Greek form he used in the instruction if fully unpacked is such that the clause each man should have his own wife would read each man should begin and continue to have his own wife. Thus, it becomes easier to understand that the apostle does not conceive marriage as something temporary or something that should be discontinued easily, as we find today. With this observation, let us return to the question we asked.
The question is: Why did the Holy Spirit direct the apostle to be redundant in his use of the instruction regarding being married or being in a married state? This is so we can make at least two important deductions from the clause. A first deduction is so that we recognize that marriage defined by God is between a man and a woman. The idea of marriage involving a man and a woman is first implied in the word “wife” in the first clause of 1 Corinthians 7:2 each man should have his own wife. The word “wife” is translated from a Greek word (gynē) that we encountered in verse 1 we indicated may mean “woman as an adult female person.” It may, based on the context, mean “wife” as in the instruction given to believing wives in Colossians 3:18:
Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
In our context of 1 Corinthians 7:2, the word certainly means “wife” although literally the Greek of the first clause reads let each man have his own woman. Thus, we see that it is a distortion of God’s word for a man to address another man as his wife. The second implication that marriage is between a man and a woman is in the second clause of the verse we are considering and each woman her own husband. The word “husband” is translated from a Greek word (anēr) that may mean “an adult male” in contrast to a woman as in the description of believers of both genders that were persecuted by Apostle Paul before his conversion, as we read in Acts 8:3:
But Saul began to destroy the church. Going from house to house, he dragged off men and women and put them in prison.
In some context, the word means “husband” as in describing the status of a woman when her husband dies, according to Romans 7:2:
For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage.
It is in the sense of “husband” that the word is used in 1 Corinthians 7:2 to also distinguish man from a woman. Again, it is a distortion of God’s creative order for a woman to describe another woman as her husband. Anyway, the Holy Spirit through the apostle intends for us to recognize that God’s definition of marriage is between a man and a woman.
A second deduction the Holy Spirit intends for us to make regarding Apostle Paul’s redundancy in the two clauses of 1 Corinthians 7:2 each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband is that marriage should be monogamous. This is underscored by the two phrases his own wife and her own husband. God’s original intention is that marriage should be monogamous as evident in the fact that God created one man and one woman. Furthermore, in the institution of marriage, the words used indicate monogamous relationship, as we gather from a passage we cited previously, that is, Genesis 2:24:
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
Polygamy resulted from sin. For it was after the fall that we read of polygamy. The first recorded case of polygamy is by Lamech in Genesis 4:19:
Lamech married two women, one named Adah and the other Zillah.
The next person described as polygamous by his choice was Esau as we learn from Genesis 36:2:
Esau took his wives from the women of Canaan: Adah daughter of Elon the Hittite, and Oholibamah daughter of Anah and granddaughter of Zibeon the Hivite—
Jacob was also polygamous but that was not by his choice since he was tricked into marrying Leah and later he married Rachel that he intended to marry. Although God’s original intention was for marriage to be monogamous, He tolerated polygamy and regulated its practice among Israel’s leaders as indicated in the instruction regarding Israel’s king in Deuteronomy 17:17:
He must not take many wives, or his heart will be led astray. He must not accumulate large amounts of silver and gold.
Although the Lord did not specify the number of wives here but in His rebuke of King David for adultery, we could deduce that the number of wives could be more than eight since David already had eight wives when the Lord indicated He could have given him more in 2 Samuel 12:8:
I gave your master’s house to you, and your master’s wives into your arms. I gave you the house of Israel and Judah. And if all this had been too little, I would have given you even more.
Of course, David’s son, Solomon had too many wives that contributed to his unfaithfulness to the Lord. He married seven hundred wives and had three hundred concubines, according to1 Kings 11:3:
He had seven hundred wives of royal birth and three hundred concubines, and his wives led him astray.
Anyway, the point is that it is God’s intention for marriage to be monogamous. He accommodated polygamy because of the fall. This reason we have given is similar to the Lord’s explanation that divorce was permitted due to sin or hardness of the heart, as implied in Matthew 19:8:
Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.
It is true that we do not have a direct statement in the NT that indicates polygamy should not be practiced by Christians but there are indirect references to the fact that Christians should be involved in monogamous marriages. Our passage of 1 Corinthians 7:2 implies this. Furthermore, spiritual leaders should be in a monogamous marriage, as required in 1 Timothy 3:2:
Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach,
Thus, we should recognize that Christians should be in monogamous marriages. You see, it is difficult to be in polygamous marriage and not be guilty of favoritism. This we learn from the instruction given regarding the right of the firstborn in Deuteronomy 21:15–17:
15 If a man has two wives, and he loves one but not the other, and both bear him sons but the firstborn is the son of the wife he does not love, 16 when he wills his property to his sons, he must not give the rights of the firstborn to the son of the wife he loves in preference to his actual firstborn, the son of the wife he does not love. 17 He must acknowledge the son of his unloved wife as the firstborn by giving him a double share of all he has. That son is the first sign of his father’s strength. The right of the firstborn belongs to him.
Another problem with polygamy is that it pitches one woman against another, creating an unpleasant family life. This we learn not only in the conflict between two sisters, Leah and Rachel, Jacob’s wives but also that between Hannah, Samuel’s mother, and her rival wife, Peninnah as narrated in 1 Samuel 1:4–7:
4 Whenever the day came for Elkanah to sacrifice, he would give portions of the meat to his wife Peninnah and to all her sons and daughters. 5 But to Hannah he gave a double portion because he loved her, and the LORD had closed her womb. 6 And because the LORD had closed her womb, her rival kept provoking her in order to irritate her. 7 This went on year after year. Whenever Hannah went up to the house of the LORD, her rival provoked her till she wept and would not eat.
In any event, it is our contention that one of the reasons the Holy Spirit directed the apostle to be redundant regarding the matter of marriage in the sentence of 1 Corinthians 7:2 each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband is to teach that God’s intention in marriage is monogamy as against polygamy.
The instruction regarding the necessity to be married because of sexual immorality as given in the clause of 1 Corinthians 7:2 each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband requires at least two cautions. But before we get to the cautions, we should recognize that the apostle’s instruction does not necessarily imply that everyone should be married but that for the most part being married is the state that is helpful to avoid the temptation of sexual immorality. Thus, he is not commanding that everyone should be married although most people should. Anyway, a first caution is not to think that being married is a cure to sexual immorality. If being married is a cure to sexual immorality, then the sin of adultery would not occur. David with his eight wives would not have committed adultery and consequent murder. As it is, married people commit adultery, implying that being married in and of itself is not an antidote to sexual immorality. Being married means that a person who is married has the means of satisfying sexual desire without being involved in sexual sin. Truly, there is no cure for sexual immorality as such, if by cure a person thinks that something is gone and done with. If people are heathy and not hampered by age, the desire for sex would be there. Therefore, the only factor that helps in avoidance of sexual immorality is being filled of the Holy Spirit. A believer who is filled of the Spirit will resist the temptation to sexual sin. The reason the filling of the Holy Spirit is necessary in avoidance of sexual immorality is that a facet of the fruit of the Spirit is self-control as we learn from Galatians 5:22–23:
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
Avoidance of sexual immorality certainly requires self-control. The believer who is filled of the Holy Spirit will not have thoughts that are contrary to God’s word and such a person will manifest self-control that is necessary to avoid sexual immorality.
A second caution regarding the instruction to marry because of sexual immorality is that, as we have hinted, it does not mean that a young man should immediately run out to marry. I am one of those who do not oppose young person marrying as soon as possible because of sexual immorality but I do so on the ground that a young man tending to marry must be capable of providing for a wife and a family. I realize that we live in a time when many young women are financially independent and so they may not be concerned if a young man is able to provide or take care of them. That notwithstanding, an important requirement for a young man to marry is to have the capacity to provide for a wife. This is implied in a passage that we will cite again in course of this study of the guideline regarding sexual relationship among believers. It is the condition on which divorce in a sense is permissible as given in Exodus 21:10–11:
10 If he marries another woman, he must not deprive the first one of her food, clothing and marital rights. 11 If he does not provide her with these three things, she is to go free, without any payment of money.
The concept of being able to provide or care for a wife is given in the instruction he must not deprive the first one of her food, clothing and marital rights. We are not at this time concerned with marital rights as we will deal with that later in our study. Our concern is with taking care of a wife in terms of providing food and clothing and by extension, a shelter. Hence, a young man should only consider marriage if he is able to care for a wife financially. He should avoid the thinking that says that love would carry them in their marriage. Love is necessary for sustaining marriage but so also are the material things mentioned in Exodus 21. The implication is that a man should not marry without being able to provide for a wife. Being in love is not the requirement for being married but being able to provide or care for a wife. If a young man meets this condition, then such a person should not delay in marrying because of sexual immorality. With this we have considered the first guideline regarding sexual relationship among believers prior to marriage so we will continue with the guideline that govern sexual relationship after marriage.
02/21/20